Rico Suave

I apologize for it being a week since my last post. But, I really haven’t had much dating action and as I previously mentioned, I’m not starting at ChiliBee’s with the rest of my training until August 10. That’s why I’ve been a bit quiet.

However, I didn’t come out of this weekend without a story worthy of a blog post! That’s always a positive, right?

On Friday night, I went out to the club with Spaniard Lady, and her boyfriend, Hairball. I guess technically, I was third-wheeling it, but I never feel like a third wheel around them because they’re good about not being all kissy face (which I find aggravating as shit, by the way!). It’s important to note that Spaniard and I are regulars at this particular establishment, and as such:

  • Never pay a cover to get in–one of the managers loves us and walks us right in front of the line every single time, and;
  • One of our good friends, Wednesday Adams, is a bartender, so we are fast tracked for drinks and typically charged for well or house liquor but served top shelf. Holler.

Hairball’s friends are also regulars, but they are lacking boobs so they still pay top dollar. Sucks for them.

Spaniard had mentioned to me at one point one particular guy that hangs out with some of Hairball’s friends, Rico Suave. Previously, she mentioned that he is a huge player who has several offspring produced with several baby mamas and that all he ever does is get hammered and go to the gym. On Friday night, Rico was there. I had never met him before, but while talking to Spaniard, he demanded an introduction.

He came over, informed me that I am his future girlfriend, and said something (I kid you not) about “I want to climb you like a tree, woman!”

Knowing his history and reputation, I decided to run with it because that’s how I roll. Rico and I traded numbers before heading home (not together, of course, don’t get too excited silly readers!).

Now, for the fun part and overall point of this post–our text message exchanges from Saturday and Sunday (today) where I show him who’s boss. Any grammatical errors are contained in the original messages. Enjoy!


= me,           = Rico Suave


: Hola

: Hey what’s up

: Wats up ladee

: U know who this is

: Yes I do. I’m making something to eat u?

: About to hit the gym

: Cool have fun

: Wat u doing today

: Layin out with Spaniard later u?

: I got Hooters at 6 then the fight tonight

: Haha nice!

: So when we gonna hang out

: Well you make plans and I’ll be there?

: Really

: It’s usually the guy who makes the plans 🙂

: Not in my world. U better ask Spaniard about me.

: I already have the WHOLE story on u 🙂

: But those are my rules. If a guy doesn’t follow them we don’t hang out. 🙂

: Oh really and wats the story???

: That’s between me and her!

: Oh

(fifteen minutes pass, then he texts me again…)

: Well my schedule is filled today I’m free tomorrow during the day

: OK tomorrow I have church and probably lunch after. Other than that I’m free.

: OK it will have to be before 6 pm.

: That’s fine.

: Let me know what you want to do and when.

: OK

(about 2 hours pass, then he texts me AGAIN…)

: Wats up

: Nothing you?

: Finishing up in the gym where u at

: At home

: Where’s that

: You don’t need to know where I live

: OK

: I was gnna come say hello watever

: Yeah it’s not a good time right now anyway lol

: OK

(now, fast forward to TODAY, when I got this last set of texts from him:)

: Hey

: Hi what’s up

: Wat u doing

: I just woke up u?

: Going to get my car from the club

: Ah

: So I’m free til 6

: U wanna do something

: Sure, I need to eat still

: Really I don’t have my car though the waitress who has my keys don’t work til 6

: Oh.

: Welp. I guess some other time then. U need to have a car. 🙂

: U don’t have one

: I do, but I don’t use it to pick up dates

: Oh ok watever then lol

: Yep I have standards and I don’t break them…when u have a car again I can meet up

: Hahaha I doubt it

: I’m good

…I’m pretty sure by the end he was pissed that I wasn’t at his every beck and call. Hell, the only reason why I even talked to him was for the sheer entertainment, and so that Spaniard, Hairball, and I could have a good laugh.

I secretly hope to hear from him again though. I’d love to go on just one date with Rico, so that I can entertain the internet with it. I’ll keep you guys posted.


About Pepper Potts

I am a 20-something year old working professional. I'm keeping my day job to myself on here because this is a public blog. However, I moonlight waiting tables and dating men...hence, the Waiting and Dating title.
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